Happy MLK Day!

“Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Basically, everything has a ripple effect. 

Deep, huh? 

No, I’m not about to go all profound blogger up in here. I just thought it was appropriate to quote some MLK Jr on MLK Day, m’kay? And I like that one. It really makes me stop and think. I have to be careful with that, sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again.

Especially lately because I’ve been pretty sick and taking quite a bit of cold medicine and pain reliever. What do they put in that stuff anyways?  I didn't even buy the kind they keep behind the counter and make you show ID for. Hell, I didn't even buy the name-brand for that matter. But it sure did make for some whackadoo behavior. 

For instance, Saturday, after having consumed the suggested dosage of daytime medicine + 4 Excedrin, I donned an outfit you couldn’t have put together if you stole a donation box from behind the Goodwill.

And then I drove my kid to work in it. 

Because my husband doesn't love me enough to not let me out of the house like that. 


Ok fine that's not true. He wasn't even home, he was off working & making money blah blah. Whatever. I still think that if he DID love me he would have sensed that I needed him and appeared out of no where to take the kid to work and bring me banana cream pie. 


But he didn't and so there I was. 

In gray velvet’ish sweats (that fit me better in 2005, when they were only 2 years old), a pair of my husbands tube socks complete with toe hole, and a crème colored fleece hoodie that left giant fuzzies all over my black t-shirt. I was feverish and didn't really want to wear the sweatshirt but I needed to. It helped camouflage the fact that I was bra-less.

BRA-LESS. 

I know. I'm not proud of it. 

I walked out of my house, got in my car, and drove away without a brassiere – BUT WITH those stupid Hanes His Way man socks on. You could tell they were pulled all the way up too cause' my velvet sweatpants kept clinging to my calves real sexy like. Oh and maroon slippers. (Is maroon even a color anymore?) 

I get that appearing in public like this doesn’t bother some weirdo's folks (we've all seen the People of Walmart. And Courtney Love.) – but it’s a major sign of sickness and/or impending dementia for me. 

I always wear a bra and I almost never wear socks. 

Let's be clear here, I don’t need to be dressed up to go outside & I love weekends without make-up - but bra’s are not generally an optional accessory in my book.

My girls are neither itty bitty nor full of silicone. They require full service support with underwire, thankyouverymuch.

Plus there is the whole issue of living in the House O’ Testosterone to think about. (Remember the MLK quote people: “Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”)

The nipple ripple-effects of traumatizing my sons by flailing about all Kathy-Bates-in-the-hot-tub style are far, far too numerous to consider. 

I clearly didn't think about it at the time, but I shudder to think of what would have happened had I been pulled over...gotten into a fender bender...or worse...like pulled up to a stop light next to him:

I big-puffy-heart LOVE Jim Parsons!!!

Household Tips

I wish that I could tell you that I am the master-mama-mind genius behind

these nifty household tricks…but, sigh. I can’t. I received this as an email,

I have no idea how long it’s been floating around the internet or who

is due credit. I, for one, know that if it was ME who put all the effort

into something this ridiculously cool I would sign my name all over the

place. Then again, who knows, maybe the originator did do that &

some jerk head changed it. It is the internet after all.

In any case, enjoy these tips & blame my snarky comments 
(that look like this) on the DayQuil! 

I’d love to hear back from you if you find one you intend to try…

Hull strawberries easily using a straw.

Wait, where exactly do you find a straw strong enough to penetrate a berry?

And omg I just said penetrate a berry.

Rubbing a walnut over scratches in your furniture

will disguise dings and scrapes.

That’s just nuts! Will splurging on some Old English really bankrupt you?

Remove crayon masterpieces from your TV or

computer screen with WD40.

This is cool. But kids who color on the tv are not. 

Stop cut apples browning in your child’s lunch box

by securing with a rubber band.

This may work for girls, but as a mama of all boys I can pretty much

guarantee that rubber band, in a male child's hands, in a cafeteria, is a recipe for mischief.

Overhaul your linen cupboard, store bed linen sets

inside one of their own pillowcases and there will

be no more hunting through piles for a match.

LOVE it. LOVE LOVE LOVE it…even though it will never happen up in my casa.

Pump up the volume by placing your iPhone & iPod

in a bowl.  The concave shape amplifies the music.

No. No. And NO. Silence is golden.

Re-use a wet-wipes container to store plastic bags.

Where do you find such cute wipe containers???

Add this item to your beach bag. Baby powder gets sand off your skin easily, who knew?!

BABY LEGS! Squishy sweet adorable baby legs!

Attach a Velcro strip to the wall to store soft toys.

I say get industrial strength Velcro & stick the brats up there too.

Use wire to make a space to store gift wrap rolls

against the ceiling, rather than cluttering up the

floor. This I can do!

Find tiny lost items like earrings by putting a

stocking over the vacuum hose. This I can do too!

Make an instant cupcake carrier by cutting

crosses into a box lid. This I can do, um, three! We’re on a roll!

For those who can’t stand the scrunching and

bunching: how to perfectly fold a fitted sheet.

And the roll came to a screeching halt. This looks painful.

Forever losing your bathroom essentials?  Use

magnetic strips to store bobby pins, tweezers

and clippers, behind a vanity door.

Also a cool idea in the kitchen.

Store shoes inside shower caps to stop dirty

soles rubbing on your clothes.  And you can

find them in just about every hotel.

You can also find them at the dollar store.

A muffin pan becomes a craft caddy.  Magnets

hold the plastic cups down to make them

tip-resistant. 

Cute!

Bread tags make the perfect cord labels.
 Ummm yeah, just a smidge too OCD for me. But thanks.

Bake cupcakes directly in ice-cream cones, so

much more fun and easier for kids to eat.

LOVE!

Microwave your own popcorn in a plain brown paper

bag.  Much healthier and cheaper than the packet

stuff. 

Eh. I prefer my hot air popper.

Install a tension rod to hang your spray bottles.

I will be doing this.

Turn your muffin pan upside down, bake cookie-dough

over the top and voila, you have cookie bowls for fruit

or ice-cream. 

On my “bake-someday” list for sure!

Freeze Aloe Vera in ice-cube trays for soothing

sunburn relief. 

This just strikes me as sticky. And more yikes-that's-cold than cool relief.

Create a window-box veggie patch using guttering. Now this is simply cool!

Especially if a cute gardener is involved.

Use egg cartons to separate and store your

Christmas decorations. 

I’m not particularly a fan of this one, especially

since you can pick up plastic containers at the Dollar Store. (Dollar Store reference #2)

So that’s it, which ones can you imagine incorporating into your bag of tricks?

We Want To Know Wednesdays

http://looklucklove.blogspot.com/2012/01/we-want-to-know.html

1. What is your most commonly used word or phrase when you are frustrated?

I don’t have a singular commonly used word or phrase. I’m pretty much "equal opportunity" when it comes to potty mouth. And if I'm frustrated you can count on some potty mouth.

2. What random question do you usually get from strangers or casual acquaintances? 

Tied for most common is  "Do you have a sister named so and so?" and "Have we met before?" ~ I guess I look familiar to a lot of people. The other question is “Are those your natural curls?” For years I flat ironed my hair trying to tame my natural disaster. These days? Not so much.

3. Did you ever correspond by mail with anyone, who? Do you still have the letters? 

Yes. When I moved to Southern California, single & preggo with my first child, my best friend Angela & I wrote each other at least once a week. We would send each other funny cards, post cards, get our OCD on with stickers. She worked at a store called Card Attack in the mall, so hers always seemed to out-do mine ~ but there was this one time I spent an hour using 4 different felt tip pens to draw a strand of Christmas lights along the edge of an envelope. I’m sure it wasn’t least bit annoying to the mail man. I also still have letters & cards from my junior year when I dated a guy in the Navy. My mom only approved of the relationship because a) he was only 2 years older and b) he was stationed 2 states away at Whidbey Island. It kept my mind off of more readily available boys. Smart thinkin’ on her part. 

4. Do you dance in public? Why or why not?

I have been known to do a little shopping-cart boogey at my local Farm Fresh which plays an amazing mix of 50’s music. But only if I have my kid with me so I can embarrass him. 

5. What is your favorite kind of Chapstick/lip balm? 

Carmex, baby! 

"Magic" Self Binding Baby Blanket

OR as I like to call my version: 

Magic Mess!

I'm a rookie who should probably stick to doing things with written instructions complete with lots (and lots) of still photo's for every step along the way. That way I would have slimmer chances of ending up with things like this. It's ok, you don't have to pretend to not notice that I failed to measure all 4 sides equally ~ despite having all the necessary tools to do so.

I started out on the right track...

But what can I say? It's never a far leap for me to land in Oopsville.

Here's the video tutorial I attempted to follow ~ PLEASE NOTE: this young lady WONDERFUL can not be blamed for my Magic Mess!!



See? She is terrific! I love the ease in her approach. Ah well, maybe I will do better next time. After all, "if at first you don't succeed" and all that jazz. 

~~~~~

Now for my TMZ-style rant on the birth of the newest Celeb-U-Bebe: Blue Ivy Carter ~ because, you know, my opinion matters. ;)


Beyonce & Jay-Z reportedly paid $1.3 MILLION dollars to secure the entire floor of the hospital where she gave birth to their new baby girl. 


I admire the talent that these two share. I also admire their commitment to keeping their private life exactly that: PRIVATE. Furthermore, I'm sure $1.3m will come in handy for the hospital. (Because, you know, hospitals don't charge enough as it is.)


HOWEVER, I have one question.


What the hell? 


A WHOLE floor Beyonce, really? 


Ok, that's two questions. 


But for the love of Put A Ring On It, get real! For that kind of money, why not lease a private birthing center? Set up labor & delivery at home? Or in a castle, with security, and a moat stocked with alligators hungry for paparazzi.


I certainly hope that another laboring mother was not displaced (to the left, to the left) due to the lock down of AN ENTIRE FLOOR..... 
Another mother who didn't have the luxury or time to get to another hospital where they don't sell out like it's One Night Only at Madison Square Garden.....
Another mother who's baby is every bit as precious & sacred as Sasha Fierce's offspring.....


I enjoy the entertainment industry, I really do, but stuff like this pisses me off. 

Mandatory Update

Ahem...I’ve been advised to update my blog. 

So here I am, if only to prove that I am alive & kickin!

For starters (and really just to be polite & get it out of the way) I hope that you all enjoyed a lovely holiday season. 

I, for one, mustered up just enough enthusiasm to survive & fake it for the kiddo’s sake. As a parent, I couldn’t not decorate & play the part – no matter how Grinchy I feel on the inside I still believe in trying to create a little magic for the youngsters. 

But now that it's all over & the decorations have been packed & carted back upstairs to the attic, can a Mama just scream say HALLLLL-LELUJAH?

Welcome 2012 ~ I already love you just for bringing a fresh start!

This year is going pretty momentous for my gang. My little kid will finish elementary school  (*sniffle*), my middle kid will graduate high school (whoot!!), my older kid will turn 21 (holy shit!) and in between all that Mama will turn 40 (HOLLA!!) ~ and we are all ready!

Although I usually resolve not to make “New Year’s Resolutions” because I lack the stick-to-it-ivness generally required, this year I did. I decided to implement a motto for life: To Thine Own Self Be True. I'm also planning on permanently inking this into my skin just as soon as I find a font & a size I can live with for all eternity. And one you can still read when I'm Eleventy-five years old.

It may not be original but it’s a brand new concept to me. Kind of a shame it’s taken 40 years, huh? But as my friend Alan (of Hangover fame) would say, WHATEV's.  

And now on to my adventures in sewing...

I joined a quilting group…that's right. A quilting group. Or bee. Go ahead, laugh at me & my granny’ish activities, I’ll wait…happy to amuse you….finished yet? Ok good. I joined a quilting group that meets once a month for a “lock in” at night. Oh yeah, I said a Lock In At Night...plus potluck & wine...did yo' Grandmammy's quilt-bee party that hard? I think not!


A friend I met during my early days of coordinating the Stitch & Bitch group is a member of the group & has been inviting me to join ever since I brought home my Singer. I have to tell you I’m glad I finally went & wish I'd gone sooner, it’s really encouraging & super inspirational. (BTW: I’m working on my first quilt now – it’s not going so hot but I intend to finish it regardless. More on that in the near future, along with pics.)

I’ve also been “commissioned” (that sounds so funny!) to make some crock pot covers for cold, hard, cash. As much as I love me some whimsy, I’m not one to dress up my toaster or my toilet paper. However, when someone approaches me with a profitable project in which they want their toaster or toilet paper (or this case, crockpots) all dolled up, I’m so down.

But it hasn’t been easy.

You know how they say that if you can imagine it, you can find it on the internet? Well, leave it to me to imagine the one thing you can’t find. You cannot find a sewing pattern for an oval crockpot cover. 

Other appliances, yes. Crockpots? No sir.

I found an Etsy seller who makes a nice quilted cover, but she doesn’t sell the pattern.

I also found this Etsy seller who sells a pattern for a skirt, but it’s not a cover. (I still bought it. You never know when I will change my mind & start dressing my appliances.)

So what’s a sewista to do? 

Well, unfortunately, she is left to her own devices & elementary school skills. And since "she" is me and since those elementary skills include math (ack!), it was a little bit touch & go.

I turned the ceramic insert upside down & traced it, measured around the base unit & then cut fabric accordingly. A few hems,  487 straight pins and voila, this was made:

Please don’t judge the Brady’s Hawaiian Vacation batik cotton print, it serves its purpose for the prototype, m’kay? And in case you feel the need to play Captain Obvious and point out that it’s not very fancy, just know that I already know that. In fact, it may very well be the polar opposite of fancy. But after a text message confirmation, it’s exactly what she wants. And that is all that matters: customer satisfaction.

I haven’t really been up to much else. Life is fairly boring quiet right now. Just taking it all one day at a time & trying to pay the bills – you know how that is! Well, not you Bill Gates. Or you, Oprah.

Oh - one last little thing I wanted to share is this little quote from a friend….

“When people hurt you over & over again…

Think of them like a sand paper and you like a wood…

They may scratch & hurt you a bit…

But in the end…

You end up polished and they end up useless.”

Although I no longer allow “the crazies” to directly affect my daily life, there is one crotchety old hag that still hangs on - her every breath dedicated to lying & hurting for personal gain. Sometimes when I feel bitter about having to have put up with her ugliness for so long I stop & thank my lucky stars that at least I don’t live in the misery that is her life. Especially now as there is about to be some legal ramifications for her shady ways….haha! 

KARMA is AWESOME!

And so are these: