A Thousand Words Thursday

I've been waiting all week so I could hop on this blogwagon of sweetness. If you click on the icon above it will take you to the site where I discovered this little bit of picture fun, I hope you decide to hop on too!

So...here's mine, its actually from 2006 but it remains a favorite...

today was one of "those" days

You know the kind where you just want to stay inside, curl up, and ignore the whole outside world? The kind where even reading a book is possibly too much effort...what with all that eye movement and page turning?

You do have days like that don't you?

Well I do, and today was it. I woke up just in time to take a nap. At one point I tried coercing the cat into bringing me a juice box because getting to the fridge required more speed than I could muster on 2 legs. She wouldn't do it. See if I buy her anymore Cat Fancy.

My vital signs picked up about.....oh....4pm....because you know, even zombies come alive when they smell fresh brains...and someone was cookin' in my kitchen! It was my middle son, and no he wasn't really whippin' up a batch of brains (cringe!), but he was burning some garlic bread into a lovely shade of charred charcoal. Imagine! The poor kid was starving and I was comatose! There goes my Mother Of The Year award. (Again.)

Guilt consumed me so I threw together a mindless but delicious pot of spaghetti & fed my herd. I even washed the dishes, folded towels, and got tomorrow's school clothes layed out for the little man so I wouldn't have to count the day as a total waste.

But now? WIDE awake. It's the downhill slide to 10pm and the sandman is not here, not even close. Ugh. This is NOT good. I have got to get my act together. Starting first thing tomorrow. Yes. Tomorrow.

I have got a zillion things to do before Wednesday - which is when my little sugar s'max turns 9 years old. There are gifts to finish wrapping, cupcakes to bake, classroom treats to figure out, and a spiderman'ish blanket to finish crocheting! Oh great, now I am giving myself anxiety. Breath in, breath out.

I swear, what is wrong with me that I can't get myself in gear??? Maybe I need a vitamin boost. Or a good swift kick in the hiney.

sweet mama's sugar daddy

According to ol' Mister Webster, the term "Sugar Daddy" was coined around about 1926 and defined as:
1 : a well-to-do usually older man who supports or spends lavishly on a mistress, girlfriend, or boyfriend
2 : a generous benefactor of a cause or undertaking

Can I just say right now "I WISH!"???

"Sugar Daddy" is the nickname I've been tossing around in my head as an "AKA" for my hubs for this here blog. I like the way it sounds & kinda think it goes with Sweet Mama...but that definition? Wellllll, its by no means a true depiction of my man! It's not like I landed Daddy Warbucks, ya know? Still...its cute, and a much less boring moniker than Mr. Jones.

Hey, maybe I can wrangle up confectionary-inspired psuedo's for my whole gang...

Somewhere, Freud is saying "I told you so!"

It's days like this that you just gotta stop and give thanks to Al Gore and his genius invention: the innnnernet. A moment of silence please....(that's more for me than you, I cannot stop giggling.)

Why? Because of this:

A GoGirl. And yes, it's exactly what it looks like...an aiming device for us gals. Apparently its the be-all-end-all answer to nasty public bathroom woes. Except, you STILL have to go into the restroom, you STILL have to touch things inside the restroom. I don't think it would solve any of my woes - it'd probably just ADD to them if anything.

Thanks to my dad, who was the biggest hand-washing, paranoid germ-o-phobe this side of planet Neptune, I inherited more than just a healthy fear of P.B. (public bathroom) toilet cooties. I also have a highly irrational fear of P.B.B. - a notorious gang of Public Bathroom Bandits. They are stealth and swift and they will reach over the stall and steal your purse off the metal hook! It doesn't matter that this has never happened to me, nor anyone I know, the man planted the seed at an early enough age that it is now an Oak Tree in my central nervous system. Oh yeah.

So...back to this GoGirl. I wonder how many women really use it? I mean, I would own one for the sheer novelty and funny factor, but I don't know that I would actually use it. I don't know that I want to get potty trained all over again. And while I get that you place it over your "lady business" and go(girl)...I don't get how you stand. Forward or backward? I cannot - I repeat, canNOT - stand up, face forward, and go. Not happening. I'm not even positive I could "practice" in the privacy of my own home. Especially not without laughing. I may be a grown woman, but I am not without my school-girl moments of hysteria.

And can you imagine the looks on the other ladies faces when you walk out of a stall where your feet clearly gave away which direction you were facing???

Also - what do you do with it when you are finished?
Throw it away?
What if you just drank a Starbucks Venti Caramel Frappacino and you have to go again in 10 minutes?
Do you wash it out?
Who wants to use the sink after the lady who just washed out her portable pee cup?
Do you hold it under the air dryer before you tuck it back in your purse?
How do you explain that to the 5 year old little girl watching you?
I'm just not sold on it.

They recommend it for travel (among other things like climbing mountains, long car rides, dirty porta-potties, you get the picture) - now imagine airport security. You really think they are going to let that slide just because its in a (not so) discreet tube? Heck no. They are gonna pull that pink puppy out right there and investigate....while you stand there helpless and barefoot. Nothankyouverymuch!

Really now, even in Al Gore's wildest dreams, do you think he ever thought that his beloved super highway of information would become a platform for a female potty funnel??

I don't think I have ever seen so many ladies so excited about "powdering their noses" before! Do you think DEPENDS had a booth at this same convention? Do you think anybody lined up there to "test pee" their pants? And then give a video testimonial?
"I've just pee'd my pants and I LOVED it! I'm going to do it ALL the time and I'm going to recommend it to all my girlfriends!"
See, now THAT would solve having to use a public restroom. Totally.

De-Stash Update

HaPpY dAnCe!

This afternoon a genius little birdy suggested I try listing my stash on Craigslist...and within 2 hours, VOILA - sold! And the better part about this deal is I am going to meet the new mama, er, BUYER, at a local coffee shop so I don't have to ship it off anywhere.

Look Boss, De-stash De-stash!

I finally did it. Something I have been both dreading & wanting to do for a while now - de-stashing all the leftovers. It's a hard thing to do when you are a yarn-junkie.

Hubs works the night shift, so last night after kissing him goodbye & sending him packin' to bring home the bacon, I got to work myself. I hauled out the yarns, made a nice & neat little pile of all the stuff I'm willing to unload, threw some pattern booklets in for good measure, had a photo-shoot, and somewhere just after mid-night...I put it on Ebay.

Do you ever feel sad and excited at the same time letting your stuff go? I know, its just yarn, guess I'm just being a dork. And its yarn I am finished with - its stuff leftover, skeins I bought too many of - or - like in the case of RH Kids, ick, its stuff I bought & then couldn't manage to even use. I do not like that stuff at all. I'm no yarn-snob, and there are some pretty cool RH yarns out there, but for some reason this kids yarn felt weird to me. I bought it with the intention of making the Spidey RR with it, but by round 7 or 8, it was just not making me happy. I put it in a bag & stashed it in the closet & replaced it with Wool Ease & Vanna's Choice. So why am I still a little bummed at getting rid of something I am not ever going to use? Someone else out there could have the inclination to use it for something really cool, right?

All in all, it turns out to be 36 skeins of yarn in the lot - mostly full or darn close to full. No bids as of yet, hopefully someone in Ebay-land will be willing to give it a good home. The cash will come in handy. Since I am staying home again, and since the class I was teaching is over, I don't have any income to spend like I was used to and I'm planning to use the loot from the lot to get some extra goodies for my little guys birthday party. So keep your fingers crossed for me friends! I hope I am not asking too much for it, and that I did the shipping charge thing right - after a few too many times of having to cover higher shipping costs I decided to go with the calculating feature. I am never certain of myself, lol!

Good by my loves...parting is such sweet sorrow...

Oh, if only all of life's worries were over yarn!Jeez Loueeeze!

mama's gotta get hookin!

You see this kid? He will be 9 years old in 8 days.

He's the baby of my gang and you can bet your bottom dollar I'm hanging on to these years with all my might. I have 2 teenagers, I know exactly how fast they grow!

He's a total ham for the camera.

He adores all things Spiderman....and sometimes he only answers to the name Peter Parker.

He wears his hair spiked and his socks mis-matched.

I watch him get off the school bus in the afternoons and he's smiling all the way up the driveway.

He's always got a song playing in his head.

And now.... You see this RR? (thats uber-cool crochet lingo for round-ripple) It's for him. I started it, like, over a MONTH ago and yet here it is, barely more than a Spider-doily! "Care for a cup of tea Spidey? Sugar - one lump or two?"
I have GOT TO GET HOOKIN' if I am ever going to finish it before his birthday.

Technically its not supposed to be called a Spiderman Round Ripple, but thats what it is. I found the free pattern on Ravelry (look for superhero dreamcatcher) and it can also be found by clicking HERE.

In my defense your honor, I wasn't ignoring it out of sheer laziness. It's just that since it's one of the kiddo's gifts, I can't exactly work on it while he's around. Plus I was busy teaching a beginner's crochet class at my LYS.


Speaking of teaching a class...holy hanks o' yarn, its alotta work! I had no idea. I'm more of a "show you how to crochet" kinda gal than a teacher, so what I thought would happen & how it actually went down were two different things! The students were awesome, don't get me wrong, I simply wasn't prepared for the questions - or the lefties in the group. But because of their awesomeness, we made it through successfully. Wanna see pics? I taught them to make one of the market totes from the Lionbrand website using Lion's Nature's Choice 100% Organic cotton (cool stuff, try it!).

This is V, she finshed hers in record time!

And these gals here are the wild n' sassy Mother/Daughter Duo C&S:

(theirs came out almost identical!)

Wish I had gotten pics of everyone ~

Thanks for the memories ladies!

pass the Xanax & fire up the laptop

Well, after the big swift karmic kick in the britches that is writers block (probably retribution for deleting all previous blog posts), I'm ready to roll again. What? You don't think non-writers can get writer's block? Sure we can! It's just like the time the doctor told my husband he had "tennis elbow" from bowling.

I haven't had much direction in my life as of late, and while I needed a break worse than Jessica Simpson needs a new hit song, its time to get back on track.

Several weeks ago I (finally!) quit my job at the fish factory where I worked as a distributor coordinator. Just another stupid name for customer service. Customer service for evil seafood brokers who think they are the mafia, thats is. My lovely position took care of the entire Eastern seaboard where all the seafood biz folk are SO intense! I might be an East Coaster now, but I'm a California girl born & raised, so all that uptighty-ness was extremely hard for me to wrap my head around & caused a great deal of grief. (This is in no way intended to offend anyone who lives on the East Coast - just the big meanies in the industry.)

Quitting, even in this harsh economic climate, was totally the best thing. And having my husbands support in doing so, totally the best thing EVER - because life without that paycheck is NOT easy and I don't think I could have just quit willy-nilly without his blessing. Or, more to the point, be able to say "but you agreed!" if ever he threw it in my face. Which he has never given me any reason to believe he would, but these are the things my insecure blob of a brain started to think. You try getting yelled at by people you don't know, on the phone and in emails, for things you can't control - like the fishing limitations on North Atlantic Cod off the coast of Iceland - and see if you don't get a case of the crazies too.

Anyways, so I've been in a weird fog for awhile - re-learning life as a housewife & stay at home mom. I cannot beeeleeeve the things I failed to do while working! You should see my stairwell walls. How did I not see the filth & muck of 3 growing boys handprints & scuffs building up on the poor, innnocent, white paint? Ew.

But I suppose its relative to the state of mind that I was in for over a year.

My husband, however, is of the mind that I quit that horrible job from H-E-double hockey sticks and so I should now officially be "over it". Ha! Getting over the B.S. of the job and letting go of the crapola that ensued once I gave my notice was easy peasy lemon squeezy, but getting over the fact that I let that it all consume me so much that I lost sight of all that is important - FAMILY TIME, HOME, FRIENDS - thats the hard pill to swallow. I keep going over it & over it in my mind - at what point did I stop functioning as a human and turn into the robot who just went thru the motions? Scary. I don't ever want to become that person again.

new diggs for mama

To be fair and honest up front, this is in no way, shape, or form, a real post. It is a non post. A Seinfeld-esque post about nothing. I just really needed to satisfy my desire to put words on my new blogger diggs, ya digg?

Girly, ain't it?

Out with the black layout, neon 80's swirls and in with...well....this!

After 2 days of complusively-obsessing, trying to make my own, goin' cross-eyed with all that HTML and XML, I opted for hacking from a free template site. So kill me for being a copycatter.

Thats all for now. See, I told you it was a non-post.

mama's on baywatch...we're safe, no hoff here!

It doesn't have to be a perfect day for me to enjoy the beach, living across the road from it makes you appreciate it almost any time of year...mighty ferocious storms and all.

But on this particular day back in early February, the gorgeous weather made it impossible to not wander out for the first real stroll of Oh-Nine. Lucky for you, I had my trusty (if very grainy) El-Cheapo camera. El Cheapo numero uno that is, cause last month I replaced it with El-Cheapo Duece.

SO... The husby and I...
We checked out the new fishing pier, which is finally coming along. The metal structure at the start is going to have a bait shop and according to the sign the pier is a whopping 700 feet long! Or 900 feet long. Either way its long enough that El-Cheapo couldn't capture it all it one shot...

In the event that it's 700 feet, please do not try to walk 900 feet...

And then of course, there is my favorite - the viewing pier, which we found unlocked so of course I had to skip across the wooden planks like an 8 year old. Once upon a time (Oct '08) we stood out at the end this very pier and watched as dolphins swam passed. DOLPHINS! A rare sight in our neck of the bay. It was awesome. Sadly, no dolphins on this day...BUT...there was this big mound of seaweed all mangled up and covered in sand just under the pier. It totally reminds me of my hair after a humid summer day on the beach...could it be my twin SeaHag Sister all passed out?


POP QUIZ TIME!!!

What do you do when you see sleeping flock of seagulls?

THIS! Duh.Be careful though, it's all fun and games until they start pooping on you. Carry a big umbrella!

Oh...And here lies one unfortunate crusty Buckroe native:
He's awfully big for a Chesapeake Blue...we think he's one of those horseshoe crabs. But aren't horsehoes lucky? This guy ain't lookin' so lucky to me.

So you know when you learn about history you think about how cruel and ignorant the world must have once been (and then you realize it still is)? Well, right here on Buckroe Beach there's a sign that tells of a resort built by and for black people, lasting up until 1973. I was a year old then, and not that that matters, its just I thought that the madness of segregation had come to an end before I was born and it obviously had not. A woman I know told me she hung out at Buckroe in those days and that there was some big ol' hurricane metal fence dividing the beach - whites on one side & blacks on the other - and from time to time a bunch of people on both sides would gather and spew hateful words back & forth over the fence...back & forth, back & forth, just like some ginormous volleyball o'hate. So sad. And here I thought the 70's were all groovy and peace lovin'.
How exactly did they get away with that anyways? I mean, wasn't there some big Santa Cruz style amusement park here back then?

Yet even in this day & age Buckroe isn't without its fences and divisions, except that now? Its all about The Haves & The Have Nots.
Careful crossing the white pickett fence all you little Have Nots, for the Have People (wearing LaCoste shirts & sun visors) will give you the smack down with their tennis rackets.
Look closely...you will see that they have signs too...Keep Out, Private Beach, Stay Off. And occasionally a trespasser will flash them a little "sign language" in return. Not that I know anyone like that.

cherishing katie still, always

Kaitlyn Cristina Jones would be 10 years old today...

years do not remove the heartache or pain, it is as real and alive as though it happened today. but then, i don't think i would want the sadness to lessen - for that might mean forgetting. or letting go. that would be worse. the need for this childs existence to be recognized is very real, very raw, and ever so strong.

the day we learned the baby i was carrying was a girl was the day we named her. from then on, throughout the entire pregnancy (which was full term) she was known as Katie Girl.

but after her silent birth people - loved family & friends even - started referring to her as "the baby".

why?

why couldn't they say her name? what were they afraid of?

katie died because of a congentive heart defect - her 4 chambers were not 4 seperate chambers but 2 large areas...not condusive to life.

the million dollar question is always: how, why, was her heartbeat nothing but strong & regular at every check up?

because a broken heart is still a heart.

she was also determined to be down syndrome. neither of these things were noticed during the pregnancy, and i guess i am glad they weren't. she lived her entire existence inside of my body. and then she went to heaven - where i imagine she waits for me and the rest of our unruly family to one day meet her, hold her.

there is no other feeling like the movement of an unborn child. it's closer than someone touching you from the outside.

who knew that last little kick the day before meant good bye? that there would be death before her first breath?

i never held her in my arms...

or felt her softness...

or counted her toes...

craig did these things...

i was afraid...

i might never have let her go...

i don't even know the color of her eyes...

were they blue like mine?

or brown like her daddy's?

a mother should know...

i can only wonder...

9 months of anticipation...

picking out a crib & pretty pink clothes...

only to be replaced by a tiny white casket.