Celebrity Apprentice Week 1

I admit it. You don't even have to twist my arm. 

I will say it loud & proud: I am a Celebrity Apprentice Junkie.

Go ahead & judge if you must, but know that I am without shame on this.

You can keep your Bachelor and your Bachelorette and your Survivor and every single one of those Look What Washed Up On The Jersey Shore-ites. 


Just leave me The Donald. 


I know, I know. He's orange. He sports a really bad comb-over. He's completely full of himself. I grant you all of it. 


But I don't care because I don't love the show for him. 

I love the show for the tasks and the creativity. And, fine, sometimes even for the sub-par celebrities too. 


But does that matter? Can't I just like a tv show please? It's not like I'm one of those middle aged Twi-hards. Gosh!

Last night was the 2 hour season opener, which required me to take a nap so that I could stay awake for it all. I really wish Mr. Trump would consider breaking the show into 2 one-hour episodes/twice a week – especially since we are talking about school/work nights. This would also keep me from having to wait an entire SEVEN days between shows.

I’m not much of a re-capper but here are my Week 1 opinions of the 2012 cast:

Tia Carrere – her facial expressions appear painful...are those cheek implants supposed to resemble shoulder blades?

Pauly Teutel Sr – Somebody please make him take his manners out of his acid-washed-Levi’s pocket.  I hope predict he will be the first dude to be fired.

Lisa Lampanelli - I knew right way I’d like her because I already enjoy her brash & sassy persona. Plus? She said “Holler”, emphasis on the -er. Funny!

Penn Jillette – this dude took my attention by surprise. When he stepped up to strategize on the whole “Chopper” branding thing, I was like “oh hey, he’s a smart one!”.

Adam Corolla – quick with the comedy relief, but kind of suspect he won’t know when the reel it in when in the boardroom. That may get annoying.

Victoria (OhMy!) Gotti - the only other human orange-er than The Donald. Can we get hair & makeup on damage control with this one please? STAT?!

Arsensio Hall – I think he’s just there for fun. I don’t see him taking anything too seriously.

George Takei – Not meek. Got it. Type-A fo’sho though.

Cheryl Tiegs – I didn’t think she’d be the first to go until she started separating cheese slices at a slower rate than it actually takes to process.

Aubrey O’Day – Who?

Lou Ferrigno – Hulk SMASH! Sorry, had to. Ok so how did he not know that “guns” was slang terminology for “My, what large arms you have!”?

Dayana Mendoza –could have sworn she was Marc Anthony’s ex. Anyhoo, pretty sure she’s hitching her star to Patreeceeah’s wagon.

Patricia Velasquez – I want to like her, but me thinks her pride will goeth before her falleth.

Debbie Gibson – Debbie, Deborah, Debbie again…does she just keep changing it Out Of The Blue? Haha, get it?

Clay Aiken – Tweeted during first episode that he didn’t want hear about George Takei’s loins…Oh Clay. Me thinks thou doth prostest too much.

Teresa Guidice – does not amuse Victoria in the slightest. Is it wrong to hope for a confrontation between these two?

Dee Snider – after having recently watched his wife Suzette on Celeb Wife Swap, I’ve decided he is an okay guy married to an wonderful woman.

Michael Andretti – the Cheryl Tiegs of the men…perhaps much too nice for this brand of competition.