Do you see these?
These are from the devil. The devil I tell you!
I know, I know, the yummy-stuff centers certainly look like the work of angels in heaven. Especially STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE yummy-stuff centers, all pretty in pink and innocent looking and delicious tasting. I swear, if you close your eyes when you take a bite you can almost see the puffy cloud Oreo factory in the sky.
But we must be careful! We mustn't let our imaginations or tummy growls get the best of us.
We must examine the multitude of sins going on with these cookies. Like, for instance, why they are so expensive? $4.19 a pack! Let me say that louder: $4.19 a smaller than average pack people! Is that not insane? And calories? Might as well open a Bed & Breakfast for all the cellulite thats gonna be popping in.
Angels aren't mean spirited swindlers! They wouldn't dream of doing that to us!
It isn't fair! I am so confused! I am using way to many exclamation points!
Are Strawberry Milkshake Oreo cookies from Angels or Demons?
Darn that Food Lion grocery store for putting the tortilla chips in the same aisle as all those little Keebler elves and the rest of the satanic sweet treats. I bet the Piggly Wiggly doesn't engage in such trickery.
So please y'all, if you know Tom, can you call him for me? Tell him I promise I am not crazy and I know its humid and all here in Virginia, but his sluething powers are desperately needed. I can't pay him, so it'll have to be pro-bono work, but I figure he can claim it on his taxes as a charitable contribution.
PS: I totally feel the need to tell you that I actually paid $2.99 thanks to being a key-chain-carrying-MVP customer. I am also not usually a cookie buyer, I like to make them at home - twice as much for a smidge of the cost - but the devil made me do it. Either that, or my judgement is clouded due to consuming waaaay too much sweet tea.
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