I have a bone to pick with Mother Nature...

It's icky sticky here on the coast of Southern Virginia today, bleh! We're running the A/C non-stop just to keep from becoming suicidal....which is sort of a catch-22 because when the power bill arrives it will likely make us homicidal. And it's not even summertime yet!!!

It's not the heat that bothers me so much. The heat I can handle, the heat I love, the heat is my friend. BRING ON THE HEAT! I'm a California kid, so dry heat of 103+ degree's?
Walk.
In.
The.
Park.
Baby!
Love it!

But the key word there is DRY. All I ever needed to keep my body happy was ice water for the insides and good suntan lotion for the outsides.

But here? On a humid day from hades like this? I want to die with a fork in my eye.

And my hair? It looks like someone electrocuted a Labradoodle and laid it to rest on my head. "Here lies Fluffy Muffy" should be tattooed on my scalp. And thats after I have flat ironed it within an inch of life.

And my pores? So huge that bumble bee's have been known to mistake my face for a giant talking honeycomb. I swat and yell and run and they chase me anyways. My husband says to stay calm and stand still. Sure. Yeah. That's gonna work. What does he know anyways? He's never been attacked by a buzzing army of yellow & black devils. Bumble bee's are evil and that's that.

Oh and just forget about the lotion right here and now. It doesn't melt into my skin for that baby bum softness. Instead it forms a latex barrier that cool air (should I find any) cannot penetrate. A veritable 45 SPF Coppertone condom.

God bless Virginia's heart, it's a beautiful little Commonwealth. Nothing beats the cherry blossoms in spring and the leaves in fall. But winter makes me sad with all the nekked tree's and summer makes me melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.

I admit, I'm a little hostile today. It doesn't help that my flying monkey, I mean child, has decided to open and close the front door 13,426 times.

My saving grace? SWEET TEA of course! Amen for that sugary goodness.