SMJ's Hair-Did

Kinda blurry...but maybe thats a good thing?

Oh well, whatddya expect from a camera phone, right?

Let's Go Coif Hopping With Kate Gosselin

I know you probably want to unfollow me just for title post ~ because those of you who aren't gagging  about seeing her name in print (yet again!) probably love her. But please don't!

And just so's ya know, I'm breaking one of my own cardinal rules here: "...thou shalt not give a platform to any member of the Gosselin tribe..." - Rule #16, SMJ handbook.

But it can't be helped, honest.

I caught sight of Kate's new-er "do" in one of those shiny gossip magazines while standing in line at the market - and suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to burst into tears for this womans golden locks.

For the love of Vidal Sassoon, will somebody please fire her hairdresser already?

First she wasted $7,000.00 (SEVEN THOUSAND FREAKING DOLLARS!!!) and 20 hours (TWENTY HOURS!!!) getting hair extensions that amounted to this:

Joe Dirt, is that you?

Ahem, oops. That's not nice. Kate would never sport those Wolverine sideburns. I apologize.

This is not an attack on Kate. Just her stylist, who, if you ask me, deserves a smack down Tabitha style.

Because now look what he's gone and done to the mother of eight:

I know, right? It's not bad, persay, but it's more Heather Locklear than Kate Gosselin.

And it looks like she's been crying again.

I was never a fan of her original backwards mullet, the one with razor sharp edges and the big chunk always covering that one eye - but at least SHE was happy with it. Back then she seemed more self-assured, at ease with her appearance, and sassy.

And is this not the all time best Kate hair ever?

Come on, Kate - ditch the extensions, grow it natural. You're one crass cookie, but your beautiful. Save the money for more important things.

Private Eyes, Their Watching You

Remember this relic classic from the early days of MTV? Hard to believe it was once a Top 40 Hit, huh? Or maybe it wasn't. I don't know. I didn't have time to fact check my music history with Kasey Kasem, ok? So shoot me.
 
Crap. Totally stuck in my head now.

Anyways.....

So, don't know if it was noticed by very many or not, but I took my blog private for a couple days to collect my thoughts.

Ya see, it was brought to my attention that I had a couple of new readers that were really close to home...by "home" I mean in my circle of life, not actually under my roof...and it threw me for a little loopty-lou.  

It's not like they found me & got tickled & couldn't wait to tease me - no, they just "found me". And then they formed an investigatve posse. Probably. Or maybe thats just my imagination running wild. Either way, they are reading me on the "D.L."- hence the necessity for a little Hall & Oat's and the reason for the flurry of questions in my head - like:

Why don't they say something?

Why are they so interested?

Do they find amusement in my tales? 

Do they admire my mediocre mad crochet skills?

Or are they after dirt?

Looking to see if I talk about them?

Will they judge me?

Get mad?

Do they have a right to?

What about MY rights to MY opinions, MY intellectual property?

Then again...what if I have said something offensive?

Hurtful?

But who hasn't?

These questions danced around and around in my little pea-brain for most of the day...so I checked in with a few friends who's opinions matter to me and each one of them pretty much said the same thing: "Don't flatter yourself!" - they keepz me real like 'dat.

And at the end of the day kids, all I am on here is a Mama Blogger who loves to crochet, take pictures, and share stories with other like-minded-Mama's. I'm not some middle-aged Gossip Girl.

If, from time to time, I go off track and talk a little smack - so be it. I am an imperfect human being. I've been known to point and laugh at inappropriate times, have opinions, and get down right self-righteous. (All shocking revelations, right?) ;)

But what I don't do is I don't: do/say things to be mean-spirited, drink like prohibition is coming back tomorrow, or engage in family matters that are none of my business. I'm also not a liar, liar, pants on fire. Some folks hold gold medals do, but I like sleeping at night.

That said, what you see is not exactly what you get. I'm not a balls-out person who feels the need to express my opinions about everything, all the time, everywhere, to everyone. I'm quiet by nature and I'm happy to let others shine their little lights bright. I'm a watcher, a listener, a learner, and a doer. I can get along with people I don't really like for the sake of harmony for a period of time....but if pushed to my limits, I will get mouthy and stand my ground. I might even throw down, yo. I'm gangsta like that, yo. Ok yeah, I don't even know what that means. Throwing something down means I just have to pick it up and I'm too lazy busy for all that.

In any case, I went ahead and deleted any posts that might be hurtful. I admit there were a few that I had forgotten about. Still, it wasn't easy because I didn't really want to  - whatever I said in those posts may not have shined the best light on a few individuals out there - but it was still my honest take on situations that directly affected me, they were my experiences. People don't just go around tossing family pictures in the dumpster because someone in the shot was less than pleasing. Hell, it's usually the odd one out that gives the picture more character. Likewise, I don't plan on deleting any future editorials - folks are just gonna have to put on their big boy/girl pants/panties and deal.

Besides, those posts are few and far between - because like many a blogger out there? I'm just way too narcissistic & selfish to let it be about others for very long.

Now go smile at someone and make their day.

Move over Bennifer, Scat TomKat

Yesterday I read a post by Amber (over at the ultra-awesome blog Airing My Dirty Laundry) in which she discusses things it's okay to be okay about.

One of the things she says it's okay to be okay about is wondering what you & your hubbo's combined name would be if you were a celebrity. She revealed that their's would be TomBer - which I happen to think is awesome because it's totally like "tiiiimberrrrr"! Perfect if she and her husband fall down alot, right? And easier to say than Brangelina.

But I'm not sure that I like our combined celeb name: CraKel

As in crack kills? 

Plumbers Crakel?

The CraKel Barrel?

Snap, CraKel, Pop? 

Hmmm, I suddenly have a craving for Rice Krispie treats. Who wants to make me some of these?? Anybody? Anyone? Don't all offer at once. Okay fine, I'll make my kids make some.

So give it up, what's your combined w/ significant other name?

The Odd-er Couple

I've been officially blogging here for about a year now, but pre-official-blogger my ramblings took place over on our (now defunct) family myspace site. I know what you are thinking, "myspace...ew!", but it was prior to the Facebook revolution and it gave me a platform for sharing daily events, holiday pictorials, amazing kid tricks, and all forms of fodder for the kin-folk & close friends back home and beyond. 

It's where I discovered that I loved to blog.  

In the beginning, I sorta kept my ramblings on the down low from the hubs. I am sure the question of my sanity had crossed his mind more than once, so why give him anything definitive, you know? Besides, he’s so anti-computer I figure he’d just say something special that would hurt my feelings and then I would have to pout. 

He's sort of Oscar and I'm sort of Felix.

He's also sort of Oscar the Grouch and I'm sort of Zoey.

  

OK, so I'm more Cookie Monster, but that's beside the point.

Suprisingly, Oscar Mister Jones likes my little blog. Well, when he reads it - which isn't all that often, but often enough to wonder when I was going to talk about him.

So here it is. The thing about my husband.

The thing about my husband is that he is the oldest living 43 year old in the free world.

What I mean by that is – he makes Grumpy Old Men look like an episode of The Suite Life of Zach & Cody.

He is young in years and old in frame of mind. He does not like change. He pretends not to like computers. (But he does like VCR's, DVR's, TV's and electronics that help him to watch The Soprano's, Good Fella's and all The Godfather's - ad nauseum.)

Sure, he has learned to email and can navigate his way through Nascar and Lowes dot com, but he’s not thrilled about it.

I’d even go so far as to say that if it was up to this guy? We’d still be using rotary phones. Avocado green with a 4 foot twisted cord, no less.

What I can’t for the life of me figure out is when he decided he was 97 years old because cross my heart swear, he wasn’t like this when we met. He's a super smart guy, a total handy man, a lover of rock & roll and Levi jeans….yet he’d sooner use empty soup cans connected by a string than a carry a cell phone. (Though he always checks to see that I have mine on & charged.) The man is a study in contradiction to be sure.

The kids almost got him brought up to speed with an iPod once. They lured him in by downloading all his favorite hits, planting the earbuds in his ears, and handing him a beer. He liked it. He liked it so much that when he realized he liked it? He stopped liking it. Because, you see, he is also a man who is never happier than when he is miserable.

“The iPod has to be charged.”

This claim, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is why Mr. Jones cannot continue his relationship with the tiny little music player.

“Radio’s do not need to be charged. They can be turned off and on and off and on!”

True enough Mr. Jones – but can they pause? Can they play the SAME song over and over and over until you decide to move to the next song and listen to it over and over and over as you so often do with your CD’s? (Ok, so SOME radio stations do seem to do that, but you know what I mean.) Are they commercial free??? I think not.

We also live in very close proximity to the beach (and we are about to get closer!). All summer long people are over there playing volleyball, skim-boarding, swimming, relaxing, picnicking – basically doing all things beach fun related. Mr. Jones does not want have fun at the beach. Sometimes he does by accident though. Oh yes, about once every couple of weeks we can manage to get him to tag along & he enjoys it - he even swims! The next day will bring soreness from the sun or the exercise and so he must decide he cannot go again. Until he goes again.

We find it funny how upset he will get with all the seasonal visitors to the sandy shore.  The way he see's it - they are imposing on what he clearly considers is “our” property – even though it’s NOT at all and it's the kids and I who spend the most time over there. We may be "locals" but we aren't natives ~ we're transplants from California. (Where, BTW, he was raised in the Bay Area and considers the Golden Gate & Bay bridges part of his own personal territory as well.)

On the 4th of July he gets pretty dang pesky - though I must admit I'm with him on this one because it irritates me to see all the trash that people leave behind after the fireworks.

Thank heavens for the new fishing pier that opened last summer. The old one was taken out by Hurricane Isabelle some years ago (before we arrived on the VA scene) and its finally been replaced. To give Mr. Jones a little credit – he HAS been out on the new fishing pier of his own accord, and he truly enjoyed it each time. The first time he took our youngest son and strolled along – investigating it more than anything, deciding if the builders indeed did an appropriate job, and figuring out what he would have done different/better if he was, you know, a builder of fishing piers. (Ego much?)

Still, this excites me people. THIS has potential for getting Mr. Jones out into the world of fun & relaxation. THIS pier may be the answer to my “get this man out from under my feet” prayers! THIS pier may save his life, because I am one nerve ending shy of pushing him down the stairs. Ok, I hope you know I won’t really do that, but a wife can dream right? KIDDING!!!! Mostly.

Ahem...Is This Thing On?

Even though the SMJ family has found itself to be a victim of the domino-effect refund delay (thanks to some online tax program that we didn't even use!!!) and we have to *sigh* wait another whole week - we are not going to be bitter. Because hello? Only 7 days. We are lucky and thankful and ever so grateful for even qualifying for a little cash back from Uncle Sam. Why? Well because it will finally put us on target for....

DRUM ROLL PLEASE.....

.....moving into our new house!

Ok, clearly its not a brand new house - though parts of it are, like the new kitchen and the attic that has been renovated into an additional 2 bedrooms and a bathroom. And it's new to us!

The search is on for porch furniture! And a flag. But I'm having a small dilemma over the flag. Should we also place a US Flag out front or go for a decorative cutesy flag? While I am a lover of the Stars & Stripes, I'm leaning more towards cutesy. The reason being is that I am very respectful of our country flag and that means that I would have to adhere to the tradition of how to fly it. That might be too much for me right now - the whole remembering to take it down each night unless it is lit up thing...not that I am *that* lazy - but I am *that* busy and often exhausted long before bedtime.

Standing in the front yard and facing east gives one a one-block view of the beach!!!! And the lifeguard station...I so want my older boys to get their lifeguard certification, but what I want for them and what they want are generally not the same thing.

So that's it...my announcement. Aren't the gabled windows cute? Our very own beach cottage.

Dear Where's My Refund Website,

I don't want to upset you, I really really really don't. Really.

And I totally understand that you are valuable & working hard to provide accurate information & being clicked on hundreds of times per minute by ansty-pantsy people like me.....but could you maybe see fit to stop toying with my emotions?

It's not every year that we get to enjoy a chunk of change back from Uncle Sam you know.

Just pick a date and stick with it, that's really all I ask. Unless of course you want to move the date up to an earlier time, like say, tomorrow morning - which is what was the "shall remain nameless" efile tax program originally promised.

Yeah, this bumping out business? It's unnerving. AND it's causing me to have an irregular heartbeat, irritable bowel, blurry vision, trouble blinking, and fingernail growth problems. Plus there's the whole matter of my big announcement that I can't make until the piper gets paid.

That's all.
Love you!
Mean it. =)