Look at me all participating & stuff!

To help me with my mojo-malfunction I decided to link up with Mama Kat’s (pretty much worldfamous) Writer's Workshop. 

This week's suggestions were fun to think about but my ultimate decision was really a no-brainer.

I mean, why would I tell you all about how I am in love sweet love with both Jim Parsons and Jon Yumm Hamm but how I would eventually have to break their hearts by running away to marry Zach Galifiankis, or how 31 years after the fact I can still smell the vomit on my Miss Piggy pillow-sham just by thinking about liver & onions, when I finally have the opportunity to throw a pity party over the 2 things I always wanted for Christmas as a kid but never got?

Technically, the writing prompt is 10 things I Wanted for Christmas as a Kid but Didn’t Get and Still Want. (inspired by Hello Giggles) ~ but I don’t think I ever wanted 10 things at one time.

My brother & I grew up in the 80’s as children of baby-boomer consumers. There wasn’t much that we wanted that they didn’t already want to get for us. I’m not kidding you when I say that I had no freaking clue what an Atari was when we woke up to find Santa had brought us one. My parents were always way ahead of us on all the cool stuff. 

Unfortunately, the appeal of electronic-y stuff was lost on me. Save for "the 2 things", I was happy with my Rubiks cube and the giant Barbie head that I could put make up on.

In my day, Babs looked alot like a $2 version of Dolly Parton. 

Long before there were Razor Scooters there were Honda Kick’n’Go’s. They looked very similar to the scooters these days except they had this lever thing on the back & you used your foot to pump it & propel yourself as fast as you wanted to go. Yet another feature lost on me. You see, I have always been a creature of comfort - not necessarily speed or um, agility. My dad built custom motorcycles back then & they sold them in his shop and so naturally he thought we had to have them. Although I eventually got it together with the whole hand/foot coordination required to not crash, I'm pretty sure Dad still got the bigger Kick out of watching us Go. 

So what was it that I always wanted but never got? (Is it just me or can you guys hear my husbands voice saying "GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!" too?) 


Fine. What I always wanted was a

Lite Brite and a Cabbage Patch Kid.

But I never got either one.

My mom thought Cabbage Patch dolls were “ugly”. This is a woman who dressed me in rabbit fur coats at the age of 8 (pre-PETA & the red paint). Ugly in her world was (and still is) a crime.

The Lite Brite was “messy”. All those little black dots of construction paper & light bits made her shudder. Let's not talk about the fact that her favorite child my brother had a crap-ton of Lego’s that were often scattered everywhere or how he would purposely land-mine them along my bedroom doorway at night so that I would unavoidably step on them barefoot, in the dark, on my way to the bathroom at 2am. 

So yeah. No authentic adoption certificates or brightly lit displays of art for me. Because, you know, Ugly & Messy! 

Atari Pong induced coma's and Kick and Go scars on the chin, elbow, knee's & knuckles? Pure childhood FUN! 


Hours of quiet, creative time or honing my motherly instincts? 
Ugly & messy.

Years later they would use these same words to describe my boyfriends.  


My brother is now an architect in Anchorage, Alaska. Naturally my mother credits this to his Lego days. By that reasoning, I could have been Angelina Jolie if only she had let me adopt a stinkin' Cabbage Patch Kid!