TWENTY-TEN (2009 Please don't holla back.)

Muuuuaaaahhhhhh....

Thats the sound of Oh Nine kissin' my behind.

It has seriously has been one of the saddest years in a long time.

As a culture, we lost some great icons & way too many soldiers in war.

As a friend, everyone I hold dear has experienced personal tragedy in the last 12 months.

As a family, we lost our Granny and beloved Billy (my brother in law & boys's favorite uncle "UB").

I won't say there wasn't anything to be thankful for this past year (hello: G-Bunny's high school graduation, me fleeing the confines of the fish factory, our health, friendships found, and friendships re-built) and there have certainly been darker times (like ten years ago when our angel baby Kaitlyn said goodbye before we ever got to say hello) but I just can't express how ready I am for a clean slate.

And how about TWENTY TEN anyways? Has it really been a decade since we thought life as we knew it would halt? When newcasters warned us that bank accounts would freeze and VCR's would self-implode ~  all because of a rollover date to 00? To be honest, I didn't drain a dime from my account and I didn't buy a word of the hype, not even a vowel. I was secretly hoping that our VCR would implode so that I could finally convince my tightwad thrifty husband to get a DVD player.

But as a kid? Totally different story. When imagined the year 2010 I pictured zipping around in my space-car (like the Jetsons), living in a floating, round apartment building (like the Jetsons), and bossing my robot-maid Rosie around (like the Jetsons). The only thing I didn't like about my futuristic "like the Jetsons" life was being married to stick-in-the-rear George or naming my kid Elroy. Nope. My hawt husbands name was going to be Dweezil and our boy Tazz. So what if it didn't rhyme?

All in all, I guess we have gotten pretty futuristic - what with our iPhones (not that I have one) and iPods and Wii's and laptops with WiFi and the ability to instantly communicate with friends just about anywhere at just about any time. That's pretty awesome.

But you know what's weird? Among all these cool gadgets, my very favorite pastime remains one from centuries & centuries ago...crocheting. A simple hook and a ball of merino.

Anyways, I hope that all of you beautiful blogland people have a healthy & prosperous year in 2010. My own biggest hope is than we are blessed so that we may be a blessing. If that makes sense. Feeling kinda mushy right now....don't tell anyone.

With any luck, the rain will hold off and we can take the kids to the downtown celebration tonight!

IN LOVING MEMORY OF:

William J. Jones, Jr. 9/24/59~7/4/09

 Mary Ann McCue 8/4/35~12/1/09

Do you remember the Hooters story told you about here?

Younger Mii

Well kids, we finally did it. We bought a Wii gaming system and I am so excited about it that every night I go to its hiding place in my room and roll away dozens of skeins of yarn to peer at the pretty white box full of family fun potential. (Boys never think to look in mom’s stash bin.)

Honestly, I never thought I would care so much about a gaming thingy, but last month I had the opportunity to play at a friends house and y'all, it was a blast! Ok, so at first when she asked me to play I secretly wondered what the heck a single woman without kids would want with a video game system. Bleh! A karaoke machine, sure. A bubbly foot bath thing for pedicures, absolutely! But a Wii? Gah!

Still, I'm not one to put a damper on things so I shrugged & said “Sure!” with as much enthusiasm as I could muster...then proceeded to fall. in. LOVE. We played for hours, laughing, breaking a sweat, stopping for refreshments, and back at it again. I took the challenge thing to see my Wii age. I was FIFTY. Five-Oh. 50 in real life is not bad, I know lots of rockin' people that are 50 and they are far from "old" - so that's not my hangup. My hang up is that I Wii'd myself out and still I was THIRTEEN years older!!!! But what's a mama to do? Pitch a (wii) fit and pout? Well, sure, that's what I was doing for the last 2 weeks - until just a little while ago when I discovered news of a giveaway over on  Peeling An Orange With A Screwdriver's blog that is happening on Chocolate Covered Daydreams blog - which naturally led me to dream of chocolate covered oranges...Mmmmmm! The guidelines for entery include writing a letter to your younger self....so here goes!

Dear Younger Me,

Hold on to your mall bangs, you are in for a bumpy ride, and it’s gonna take more than a can of Aqua Net to keep yourself intact.

You're 18...

wild and free, and planning to, like totally fer sure, take a year off before heading to college to get your marine biology degree so you can train dolphins at Marine World/scuba dive along the Great Coral Reef/Save The Whales. Ok, so that's what you tell the parental figures while you play Three's Company in your new apartment with Roxanne & Mike. And mostly you mean it, especially the dolphin training gig. But that one little year? Will alter the course of your life forever. By the time your friends are registering for college, scouring course catalogs for classes (not to fret, Al Gore is working on a little thing called the internet, you'll see!), while you and  your round belly are  registering at Target, scouring the aisles with for a 2 in 1 stroller and a breast pump. You'll kiss your bikini tops buh-bye, wish your nursing bra came with a how-to manual, and wallow in self pity until the contractions are about 3 minutes apart. Take a deep breath, puuuuush, and enjoy your exhausting/exhilarating/challenging/rewarding journey into motherhood. Single motherhood. (You always were good at putting the cart before the horse.)

You're 20...
you've traded your banana clip in for pony tail scrunchies - because what's the point in doing your hair when you have a little boy that can pee a straight stream at your head everytime his diaper is changed? Every now and then stop what you're doing and go give Bobby a hug & thank her for being the best great-grandmother a girl could ever ask for...cause if it wasn't for her you wouldn't be living rent free, with a built in baby sitter so you could go to college after all. I'm not sure you realize it, but this is one of the best times of your life right now. Even if you do sing Barney songs in the shower.

You're 24...
you've endured some hard times these last few years. Marriage, ignorant bliss, another baby boy, secrets, domestic violence, betrayals, chaos, divorce. You kick yourself for taking scuba lessons instead of a self defense class. You question your faith, you're own actions, your integrity, and you wonder if love really exists. But that which does not kill you makes you stronger, so you pick up the pieces, pack up your boys, and take the next step. Waiting in an apartment down the way, a single mom named Eliska with two little ones of her own, becomes your best friend, your biggest ally, and the sister you never had. For the first time in your life you will experience the healing powers of female friendship. Oh - and "The Rachel" haircut.

You're 27...
it took some time, but you've discovered Mr. Right! He loves you, your boys, your hair, your baggage, and to prove it he hauled you off to a little chapel in Lake Tahoe and put a ring on it. (Beyonce will clear up this reference for you in a song someday. Pay attention.) I'd like to tell you that this is the happily ever after part, but I'd be lying. You're little girl, Kaitlyn, will only survive the 9 months that you are pregnant with her. Her silent birth will send you into the darkest period of your life, and even now, ten years later, I cannot find words of advice that will ease the pain of burying a child. What I can tell you is that you are surrounded by love, embrace it. Another child is in your future, he is not meant to replace his big sister, but he will save your life.

You're 33...
you've left California for a new life in Virginia, 3000 miles away from all you have ever known. For awhile you will kick and scream and every 2.5 days swear you are packing up and heading back home. Instead of throwing in the white towel, you will pick up a crochet hook, some yarn, and discover a whole new world of friendships. Nobody ever told you "hookers" were such cool people. Life is looking up. But you still don't have the guts to cut your hair like Posh Spice.

You're 37...
BMI and TMI and...IS THAT A GRAY HAIR??? Baby boy #1 is 18, Baby boy #2 is 15, and Miracle Boy #3 is 9. You tip the scale at 40 pounds over the 'target range' for your age and height. You sit down, with your slice of Mrs. Smiths Dutch Crumb Apple Pie (okay, with Cool Whip on top) and discover a Wii Fit giveaway contest and proceed to pour your heart out.....It's time to stop piling it in and start working it out....if only you can win this!

Much Love,
Me, Myself, and Irene

Emotional Wreck

My heart and my head are all jumbled up right now. My other grandmother, Mary, who is my mom's mom - and the daughter of Bobby who I have talked about before - is not doing so well. She had surgery last Wednesday to remove a portion of her colon that was all twisted up. She seemed to be doing well in the couple of days following, but something happened late Friday night/wee hours Saturday morning that had them rushing her back into surgery to remove her entire colon. She is back in ICU "holding her own" as they say. My mom is frantic because my grandpa is frantic. Last month my grandparents celebrated 58 years of marriage, and they have known each other since they were 11 and 13 - an entire lifetime. My mom and my grandpa are totally father/daughter - they are not people who get frantic or break down or get emotionally distraught even in the midst of devastating news. They are not emotionless or cold, they are just quietly stoic people I guess. Just not when it comes to Gran....who can blame them?

So I am sitting here 3000 miles "from sea to shining sea" away from them...waiting for news. And praying.

*****

In totally unrelated news....I followed this link on the email from Michaels Arts & Crafts and discovered Vanna is at it again! She's having her 2nd annual contest for crocheters and knitters. Anyone in the mood to win a $1000 bucks worth of yarn? 

http://www.vannaschoice.com/

Jan Brady Lives Here

Yeah....

When it comes to Mom of the Year? I am totally Susan Lucci.

Why this time?

Because I have blabbered on and on (and on and on and on) about G-Bunny™. I have flashed pics of my youngest Max striking poses in a sleeping mask. I have shared about my baby girl Kaitlyn. But have I told you about my super-uber-cool middle son Jan, I mean AJ?

I love all my kids equally, but in different ways, if that makes any kind of sense at all. They are different people with different dispositions - and while each one came from my womb, I am pretty sure each one redecorated to suit their own fancy while they were. I'm just saying.

Gunnar is my firstborn, charged with meeting and exceeding all of my irrationally HIGH expections (and doing well at it).

Kaitlyn is my angel, watching over us from her fluffy cloud in Heaven, and waiting patiently for us to arrive when our times come.

Max is my wild child, the "baby" who has been catered to every day of his life - he followed Kaitlyn and so you can imagine how he has been doted upon. He flashes his toothy grin and gets away with murder.

But up there between Gunnar and Kaitlyn is my kid AJ, my rock, my comedian - faster than a speeding bullet with the snappy comebacks, just call him Superman. He's got the hairline curl to prove it too! He has also been called my favorite by a certain older brother, but I don't play favorites.

Probably its that he too has gotten away with way more than he should have - and I would say blame it on those big brown eyes. He's the only one of my boys with dark pools of chocolate for eyeballs - all puppy dog and innocent looking.

AJ and I mesh, he can read my moods and finish my sentences. He's 14 and he still likes me. What more can a mom ask for?

Next week he is headed to Parris Island, South Carolina for a summer bootcamp thing for kids in ROTC. He's totally stoked and I am totally scared!

Here I was, cruising along thinking how cool is this that he is going to participate in a summer camp thing because he loves his Marines Junior ROTC thing - and then I YouTube'd it. HELLO! Some short chick in camo with her bun pulled too tight was SCREAMING at the poor kids! Did I say screaming? She. Was. Screaming. Somebody hand that woman a tall, cold glass of shut-up-juice!

Mostly it looks like hard work - but when I showed him he was all smiles and ready to rock n' roll. This is where the boy and I part ways in opinion - cause uh, NOT ME! I went to regular summer camp where it was all basket weaving and Kumbaya singing and I thought the day hikes were hard labor of the chain gang variety!

Honestly? I think there's a big sweetness factor playing out here. The fact that he is going to a "real" bootcamp facility - although he is doing the kid thing - before his big brother goes off to Air Force bootcamp in San Antonio score's him some major "I did it first" points.

Sibling rivalry is a beast, yo. ;)

Anytime a little brother can one-up a big brother it becomes story fodder for generations to come.

So here he is, my Jan Brady...

Results In! Senior Child Is A Genius!

My oldest son is a senior in high school this year. Seems like I just left him in his kindergarten teachers hands last week while I went home and cried for 4 hours straight until I could pick him up again.

"Time flies" is not a cliche, trite phrase. It's a cold, hard fact.

Keep an eye on your kiddo's ladies & gents, they will grow and grow and grow and suddenly they will be 6 foot 1 inch high school seniors giving Senior Speeches on really smart things like "Creationism VS Evolution". The upside is they will ROCK the popular vote and blow the competition out of the water when they do it! Yup yup!

That's what my G-Bunny™ did. ;)

Him's are smart! He's the one that taught me how to make the little ™ sign - which is evidently required if I am going to use his thug name and all.

He also taught me the phrase Word Salad¹. Apparently many of the other seniors, while perfectly brilliant I imagine, served up Word Salads and he - MY KID!! - served up a 7 course feast with dessert on how and why Creationism makes much more sense than being critter offspring. (Although sometimes? My boys have been known to pull some serious monkey shines!)

To be clear though, we aren't the type to ram our opinions or beliefs down anyones throat. But this was his Senior Speech...dundundunnnnnn...and presenting a well researched, impassioned report, was sort of the whole point.

STRONG, the force with this one is.

WAIT silly, that's not him!

This is G-Bunny™

You may applaud.

Oh! AND, as part of my self proclaimed right to glory, I am hereby declaring myself to be The Birther Of Brilliance. In a completely humble way of course. ;) LOL


WORD SALAD:
–noun
incoherent speech consisting of both real and imaginary words, lacking comprehensive meaning, and occurring in advanced schizophrenic states.
Origin: 1910–15